Shame, Suppression, Passion, and Pie — September Monthly Challenge
I would love to tell you the one thing I’ve been shamed the most about in my life. Are you ready?
My passion. My lust for life. My excitement. For various reasons, being that excited and “over the top” seemed to trigger people so hard. Once I was eating a piece of rhubarb pie after a dinner I hosted at my house, surrounded by older women, after an amazing ritual. As I was basking in the beauty of the moment and the sweetness of that pie, I exclaimed “this is the best piece of pie I’ve ever had in my life!” — When one of the women turned to to me and said “why do you feel the need to be so ‘Pollyanna.’”.
Or even belly laughing loudly in a public space, or being the only one busting some serious moves on the dance floor — there’s been some major judgements.
There was even one time in art class, when we got to use cameras and take pictures and go for a walk outside. I. Was. SO. stoked. And here’s the thing — I’m not talking being obnoxious and distracting, but actually having a genuine reaction. I was just jazzed that we got to have this awesome adventure. Then my art teacher snapped at me and said, “not everything is always a party, Ani. Sometimes life is serious.”
Well… I beg to differ. What if it was both? Why can’t life be serious and celebrated at the same time? Why not fully lean into our passion, our excitement, our lust in the moments that are “serious”? And every moment? This isn’t to say let’s bypass and just focus on the good and have fun all the time — To me, that isn’t even possible.
What I am saying is that even with the smallest things in your life, like taking photos for an art project, or making spreadsheets at work, or food shopping, or eating a piece of pie, or getting on the train for your commute — why not live it with your whole heart?
For so long, I tried to suppress this part of me until I realized I was becoming the exact thing so many people were judging me for — inauthentic.
So now, I live with soul. I live with passion and gusto. Because for so long, I tried not to because I thought it wasn’t cool. And mostly because there are times in my life when things feel really dark in my world, I actually can’t be in that space. So now when those moments arise and I feel genuine excitement — I fully dive into it. I pour my heart and soul into it and breathe it into my entire being.
Because me and you are on this planet that is dancing around in space, and we have no idea what we’re truly doing here. But here we are. And so I’m claiming passion in this space. Maybe your passion looks different than mine, like my best friend Tate who goes to the Aquarium and is just pressed up against the glass, fully engulfed in what she’s seeing, and all she can do is be still and silent and be in total awe even if it some may think she looks silly. However you express your passion — fully freaking go there.
So here’s my challenge for you this month, my love. I challenge you to tune into a part of yourself you may have shoved down because it wasn’t palatable to some people. Then, I want you to fully fucking claim it. Make it like a business title, like I call myself the Priestess of Passion. And the priestess of pleasure. And the priestess of chicken parm — but that’s a whole other blogpost. What is yours? Feel free to share it with me!
Anyway, I love you. I hope you never feel like you have to make yourself small again. I hope that you can express every part of you with gusto. May you walk through life fully rocking everything about yourself. I celebrate all you are.