Claiming Pleasure in Transformation


This month was my solar return — my 26th birthday. On a beautifully aspected Scorpio full moon. Reflecting on my 25th year was… interesting. It makes me throw my head back and cackle when I hear the saying, “people don’t change.”

You can change drastically in a year. A month. A week. A day. A second. Sometimes life throws things at you that crack your heart open and let all the bullshit you’ve collected pour out and run off of you, only to be seen as a once truth turned distant memory. You can get a phone call that rocks your world or a chance encounter at a bar that turns into the most transformational relationship. Mind blowing fights that turn into intense compassion and wisdom, beautiful releases that end up freeing you from years of build up, or sudden realizations that show you that maybe you were wrong.

Life changes us. Life changes. We either grow with it and go with it, or we fight ravenously to stay in the same place. And a lot of people choose the latter, because guess what? Changing is hard. To admit that something you believed your whole life is wrong is scary. To realize that a coping mechanism you‘ve adopted was destructive is a tough pill to swallow. My 25th year was filled with these moments, and a deep, dark descent in my path.

And guess what. I realized something really magical. You’re going to wanna sit down for this one if you’re standing. Are you ready?

You, my love, can find pleasure in transformation. It does not have to be grueling. Transformation can happen in beautiful moments of pure vulnerability when you share a first kiss, when you look your baby cousin in the eyes, or when you decide to actually go for something different and feel a rush of exhilaration.

And in those nights, the dark nights of the soul kind of nights, when nothing feels good and you are seeing the depths of your being — feel it all. Let it flow through you. Feel whatever comes up and know that these moments are what connects you to the rest of all of us. You’re not alone there, sweet one. Those thoughts and feelings come up to be felt and be shed — to integrate, not internalize. They are all a part of the change, a part of your undoing and becoming.

Try and look for transformation through love and pleasure. This year, my mantra is “I am willing and ready to receive my lessons through joy.” Together, let’s redefine the way transformation can be viewed. Let’s honor the soul opening times in both dark times and loving times. Let’s let lessons grace us in every form and take note when they are here. Welcome when change comes knocking instead of kicking your door down. With grace and ease.