How to Fill Up Your Cup Each Day


Are you feeling depleted? Lacking energy? Falling deeply in the self-doubt rabbit hole, or the negativity whirlwind? Do you find yourself resenting something? Maybe life itself? Well, my love, all these symptoms can be alleviated. Slowly but surely, you can begin to fill up your cup when you feel depleted. I see it all the time in my circles and ceremonies — people struggling because they haven’t taken care of themselves in a very long time.

Taking care of yourself isn’t turning your back on everything that is difficult. It is not ignoring your problems or self-medicating or numbing yourself into complete avoidance. In fact, it is the total opposite. True spirituality and self-care is fortifying yourself so you can face everything in a solid, clear, state. It is nourishing yourself so deeply, that no matter what comes your way, you can handle it and show up in the world with strength. It is also training yourself to receive, something that so many people have forgotten how to do.

What you truly need is nourishment. What is nourishment anyway? Nourishment is a bug pot of stew where all the veggies are cooked through so it’s easy to digest. A porch swing with the crisp sun peaking through the branches of the trees. To fill yourself up so much that nothing that isn’t nourishment can stay — it is the ultimate form of healing in the most gentle, kind, loving, and stabilizing way.  It is like a sacred grandmother’s embrace when you need the care and advice of the elders. It is embracing ease and flow, gentle and slow, for the longest, deepest healing. It is strengthening without the aggression. It is wiped tears and soothed fears. It is being held on every level, being seen and understood, and honored and provided for. It is pure, unadulterated, unconditional love that flows in and floods you like the moon turning the tides… gently. With grace. With care. As organic as nature.

So, come take this ride with me. Fill up your cup so that your loving, strong, amazing energy can fill up the planet. Here are some ways you can nourish yourself each day:

Sensual Pleasure

Engage your sensuality. This does not mean just sex. It means go deep into every sense you activate. If you’re eating an orange, for example, smell it, feel it, stare at it, then taste it and let it feed you in every way. If you’re listening to Led Zeppelin or Alabama Shakes let it carry you away and take you to a place that transcends the mundane. How does it feel in your body? What colors does it make you think of? How does your body want to move and groove to it? This is your invitation to be so in your body with every action you find pleasure in.

Eat Like You Love Yourself

No, this is not an eat healthy post. Take a sigh of relief. This means truly tune in to what your body is needing and wanting. Maybe today that is a cupcake. Maybe tomorrow it is some sautéed asparagus and mushrooms. Maybe you are craving a really grounding meal like some chili. Or maybe you’re wanting a nice and refreshing citrus salad. I know that when I feel anxious and ungrounded, I almost always call the Indian restaurant up the street and order some chicken saag. What food would be your medicine right now? Feed yourself on every level.

Solid Morning and Nighttime Rituals

I wrote about some magical morning and nighttime routines here and here. It is such a solid and import way to anchor your days. In fact, ritual is a vital part of living with soul. It speaks to a part of our brain that influences everything, our primal brain, and doesn’t ever usually get nourished. Ritual, symbolism, colors, helps to clear on the deepest part of our brain and rewire neuronal pathways. Find your magic here, you can use my guides as inspiration and find what genuinely speaks to your soul.

Move That Body

Take a walk, do some gentle stretching, dance really slowly to a sexy song, jump up and down, punch something, do frantic high kicks to Madonna’s greatest hits — whatever feels good. Get it all flowing. There is a reason why exercise helps so much with stress: it actually helps to complete stress cycles so you can move that stress out of your central nervous system. Find what genuinely feels good to you, and again, this is not about weight loss or trying to look a certain way. This is about coming back home to your body, shaking out excess energy, moving Shakti, and nourishing your nervous system.

Talk With Your Friends

Find your community. Even if it is a brief exchange with one person you love, make that connection. Consciously feel the support you’ve attracted around you. You are very loved, and sometimes we need to remind us of the support systems and love and laughter we can have access to at any given moment. If you’re like me, it is easy to think you’re doing this life alone. When you’re in a bad zone, it is so easy to isolate yourself and maybe think that no one even likes you. When I get in this mindset, I call my best friend Tate and I ask her to tell me her favorite memory with me. It takes me out of it almost instantly. Why don’t you give it a whirl? This small action is a reminder that you’re loved, and you never know what medicine they are going to gift you that day, or you them! Connection is everything. Embrace your bonds.

Read One Passage That Inspires You

Sign up for an email list, (maybe mine ;) ) follow actual inspiring social media accounts that feel good to you, personally. Not what you think should be inspiring to you or puts you down. Listen to a podcast, or simply read a passage of a book you love. Get inspired in this way. Give yourself something to focus on that feeds you, not depletes you.

Pray away

Write them out in I AM statements, or recite a prayer you love out loud, or simply meditate for a while. Let the divine know that you’re listening, and set out your intent.