November is a time of celebration, of readying yourself for the holidays, and of harvest in all facets of life. For some, this time is comfortable, cozy, and intimate. For others, it is hard to face relatives and family. This is a time to find what relationships you want to go deep into, and it is not always your family, but of the ones you chose as family.
This is a time of balance, of showing up authentically and vulnerably in order to experience true moments of love with those you surround yourself with. In our human experience, we pick up defense and coping mechanisms that can block us from true emotional intimacy. This month’s meditation is about letting those defenses go with people you trust, and more importantly with yourself. Each night, ask yourself — how can I be authentic in relationships?
Set up your space to enhance deep relaxation and vision. Dim the lights, light a candle or two, put on soft music. Breathe slowly and deeply in, and release fully and richly out. Let your belly rise and fall, and feel the ground underneath you. Slow your mind down by focusing on your breath — it is your guiding force back to your meditation.
Once your mind has slowed and you are relaxed, introduce the question — how can I be authentic in relationships? Vulnerability is facing all your emotions and shadowy parts of yourself, and accepting yourself and others in this way. This is courage. This is strength. Everyone has a reason why their heart could be hardened, and now is the time to heal and soften it. Being truly intimate with someone is not about being a perfect partner, child, parent, or friend, it is about being real in your struggles and recognizing theirs as well.
Think of the truth you need to speak or the actions you need to take in order to get closer and more real with the people you love. Reflect on the people in your life who you can trust to share all these parts of yourself with. Are there ways you can go deeper with them? What is holding you back from experiencing true vulnerability and trust? By beginning to reflect on these situations, you are able to begin to see the areas you need healing. Be patient and kind with yourself, and feel every emotion that comes up. This is a deep healing practice that needs to be done frequently.
Take these knowings into your every day life, and come up with a next step when you start to feel yourself going into to your defenses. Remember that when you don’t let yourself be vulnerable, you miss out on the real experiences that life has to offer — the moments of pure truth that can actually shift your world, moments of pure love in all of its forms. Think and reflect often on why you show up in relationships the way you do, and always strive to go deeper. We are all here for a short amount of time — make it deep, and make it powerful, make it worth it.