Am I Doing This On My Own?


The past few weeks, as we enter the New Year, I’ve been feeling really confused on all matters related to success and business. Turns out, I’m far from the only person in the working world that asks myself — Am I doing enough? Did I do this right? Is this right for me? Am I qualified? Should I be doing things differently? Am I on the right path?

I have done so much intention setting, so much manifestation work, and burned so many bay leaves (it’s a witchy thing) in order to perform magic. I felt like I was in it alone. Like my magic and will was the only thing creating my future — and with that came a ton of pressure. I worried that if I didn’t answer an email right, or I said no to something, or I wasn’t working furiously for 12 hours a day, then I would miss out on opportunity.

Then, I had a profound dream that shook me to my core. It involved my Italian father yelling at me about a messy apartment and an old woman. Hear me out:

In my dream, I was moving some Kozmic Ryder boxes into a space. The walls were white but outside in the hall, everything was chaotic. My father was yelling at me, saying, “Ani, you gotta be kiddin’ me with this! This place is filthy, dirty!” To which I responded “Yes, and it is perfect and mine.”

Then appeared an old crone, with dark gray hair down to her knees. She was just standing there, not looking at anyone or anything, silent. My father said “Who in the hell is that?” And I responded in a way that shook me in my waking state — “oh, her? Don’t worry, she is just here to tell me when to not do any magic and let Spirit do it’s thing.”

I don’t know what was more jarring, the fact that my Italian father is in every single prophetic dream I have yelling in the background, or the message that there is a difference between magic or manifestation and living prayer. She had shown me, just by standing there, the difference between prayer versus magic. The cosmically confusing debate amongst the religious and the spiritual.

Then it hit me — magic and manifestation is declaring will. It is setting out and doing it alone. While prayer is taking a step back and receiving. It is surrender and trust that everything is in divine order. Magic is the time where we get clear in ourselves to co-create and we ask for exactly what we want. We state the path we take and then, seemingly out of nowhere, we follow the breadcrumbs to making that path our living reality. That is where prayer and divine intervention come in, it is like the phase of the waxing moon. We need help along the way. The path can be so confusing, and if we take it on by ourselves with just magic, there is no way we can see where we are going and exactly how to get there.

We can’t do one without the other. Even in the bible, it says “God helps those who help themselves.” What is more helpful to the self than to ceremoniously declare what you want and that you’re ready to receive help to get there?

Just like the beginning of any adventure, and the new moon, we are in the complete dark. And there is nothing more risky than “hustling” or charging head down, full speed ahead, and not quite knowing what direction you are going in. Then you end up fried, frazzled, depleted, and in a place that isn’t feeling right. Asking spirit to send us signs and symbols along the way is how we are divinely guided. It is living in active co-creation with the divine. These clues can come from oracle cards, or they can come from a sentence in a book, or from a friend giving the perfect advice at the perfect time, or an episode of Grey’s Anatomy at the cheesiest part. Or, in my case, a dream and a loud dad.

I’m happy to say all my drama with business has been put to rest. I wrote out a prayer that said:

“My life path, my success, my finances, and my joy are in divine order. I am ready.”

As we set out our magic this upcoming year, remember that you are not alone. Spirit is here to help. Life is an active co-creation whether you’re aware of it or not, but if you choose to work your magic and use your power, you can go to places you may not even comprehend. The more we work with this higher force, the more this higher force works with us. There are so many forces rooting for you to thrive, are you ready?